vb:
School
Teacher: Aren't you ashamed to be left back?
Student: No, I'm used to it by now.
Teacher: Can you tell me what happened in 1492?
Student: I don't know. We live on the tenth floor.
Teacher: Did you know you spelled all the words wrong?
Student: Wow! And I wasn't even trying!
Teacher: Do you want to wind up in the principal's office?
Student: Of course not, I'm barely qualified to be a student.
Teacher: Don't you ever think about studying?
Student: Yes, and it's the thought that counts.
Teacher: How can one person make so many mistakes in a day?
Student: I get up early.
Teacher: How come you didn't touch your school books?
Student: I wanted to keep them in mint condition.
Teacher: How come your math homework is all correct?
Student: Dad is away from home.
Teacher: How do you explain these failing grades on your report card?
Student: Those two F's are for effort.
Teacher: How is it possible for one person to make so many homework mistakes?
Student: It wasn't one person; my mom helped me.
Telaat komen
It's my alarm clock's fault. It's never been the same since I hit it with that sledgehammer
I was attacked by a squad of army ants
I'm not actually late, I'm early for tomorrow
My bike ran out of gas
Let's just say that Bigfoot doesn't take "no" for an answer
I'm not late, I'm punctually challenged
My dog swallowed my alarm clock
The school bus was hijacked. You didn't see it ?, it was on the news...
I couldn't jump start my alarm clock
I fell in a huge puddle and had to wait for my clothes to dry out
It's my parents fault, I'm genetically predisposed to tardiness
I was trying to get the static charge out of my clothing
We have a really old toaster that just takes ages to warm up in the mornings
An elephant was hogging the water fountain
verjaardag vergeten
Personal Excuses
Excuses for forgetting a birthday
I was out of town and I didn't have your address/phone number.
Believe it or not, I've been carrying around your card for a week. I kept forgetting to put it in the mail.
I didn't think you wanted people to make a big thing of it anymore.
I was staying at a place that didn't have a phone/fax machine/e-mail.
Gosh, you never seem to age, so I never remember your birthday.
Only negative people celebrate birthdays. if you don't pay attention to birthdays, you won't age.
Life begins at conception. You'll get my card in about three months time.
I thought we'd just celebrate when I saw you in person.
I was waiting until Monday.
I think you, like George Washington and Martin Luther King, should have your birthday celebrated by a long weekend.
I think birthdays are for kids. Besides, you forgot mine. Nyahhh, Nyahhh.
You are always saying you're a self-made man, and I didn't want to contradict you.
To tell the truth, I hate birthdays. It was my mother's eightieth birthday and we used those candles that relit every time you tried to blow them out. She kept blowing them out and they kept relighting, but while we were all laughing, she suffered a heart attack and died.
De link: http://www.excuses.co.uk/index.html
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