For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing
with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand
just how it works.
* Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman
happy.
* Do something she likes, and you get points.
* Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
* You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
* Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
* Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
* You make the bed +1
* You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows 0
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets -1
* You go out to buy her tampons +5
* in the snow +8
* but return with beer -5
* and no tampons -25
* You check out a suspicious noise at night 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something +5
* You pummel it with a six iron +10
* It's her cat -40

AT THE PARTY
* You stay by her side the entire party 0
* You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
drinking buddy -2
* Named Tiffany -4
* Tiffany is a dancer -10
* With breast implants -18

HER BIRTHDAY
* You remember her birthday 0
* You buy a card and flowers 0
* You take her out to dinner 0
* You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar +1
* Okay, it is a sports bar -2
* And it's all-you-can-eat night -3
* It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the colours of your favourite team -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
* Go with a pal 0
* The pal is happily married +1
* The pal is single -7
* He drives a Ferrari -10
* With a personalised license plate (GR8 NBED)-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
* You take her to a movie +2
* You take her to a movie she likes +4
* You take her to a movie you hate +6
* You take her to a movie you like -2
* It's called Death Cop III-3
* Which features Cyborgs that eat humans -9
* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
* You develop a noticeable pot belly -15
* You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it+10
* You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts -30
* You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." -800

COMMUNICATION
* When she wants to talk about a problem:
* You listen, displaying a concerned expression 0
* You listen, for over 30 minutes +5
* You relate to her problem and share a similar experience +50
* You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying
"well, what do you think I should do?" -100

ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
* You talk -100
* You don't talk-150
* You spend time with her -200
* You don't spend time with her -500
* You are seen to be enjoying yourself - GAME OVER - YOU LOSE

---

Take my hand and lead me to myself...
"http($this->addslashes("http://www.caman.nl/zooi/sig.jpg")) . "\" border=\"0\" alt=\"[user image]\" />"

lol, so true, so true

---

"Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what's right - Isaac Asimov"

Quote originally posted by bLAM @ 2004-05-15 17:31:54

lol, so true, so true

Hoezo, ben jij wle eens tampons gaan halen, en kwam je thuis met een kratje bier?

---

Refuse to do what you don't want to do.
"http("http://www.bastarddomain.com/dev/ico/quote.php") . "\" target=\"_blank\">"http($this->addslashes("http://www.bastarddomain.com/dev/ico/signature.php?show")) . "\" border=\"0\" alt=\"[user image]\" />""

tampons halen, nee ... met een kratje bier thuiskomen, ja

anne weet bovendien dat ik toch nooit van me leven het juist formaat, kleur, geur, aantal, merk, etc kan vinden

---

"Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what's right - Isaac Asimov"

...maar het puntensysteem bestaat tot op zekere hoogte wel degelijk, en dit geeft een goede impressie ervan

---

"Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what's right - Isaac Asimov"

Zouden ze die ook voor mannen hebben? (dat lijstje dan)

Want dan kunnen de vrouwmensen ook alvast oefenen.

---

"http($this->addslashes("http://members.lycos.nl/djstennis/divpics/jochem%20banner.jpg")) . "\" border=\"0\" alt=\"[user image]\" />"
You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous bastard it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny.
-Steve Irwin-

dat wordt wel een heel kort lijstje:

bring me a beer +15
it's heineken -30

---

"Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what's right - Isaac Asimov"

Ain't that the truth !

---

"http($this->addslashes("http://members.lycos.nl/djstennis/divpics/jochem%20banner.jpg")) . "\" border=\"0\" alt=\"[user image]\" />"
You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous bastard it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny.
-Steve Irwin-

Als de wokkel-type tampons koopt, zijn dat dan plus of minpunten? ...En als je zo ook noemt : "Hier schat, je wokkeltampons", denk wel dat dat minpunten zijn he

---

"http("http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TUzaW0-K1k") . "\" target=\"_blank\">Wat deze man ook gedaan heeft.. ik vergeef het hem"

zijn er die? tampons met schroefdraad?

ik wil het niet eens weten :P

---

"Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what's right - Isaac Asimov"

Jazeker, ken je die reclame niet... Lollig is dat ik eerst de reclame zag van de wokkels (met die snurkende gast die een wokkel in zijn bek geschroeft krijgt om hem stil te krijgen... En vervolgens de nieuwe ob-tampon die nog makkelijker kan worden ingebracht sorry maar dan is de link wel erg "obvious"

---

"http("http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TUzaW0-K1k") . "\" target=\"_blank\">Wat deze man ook gedaan heeft.. ik vergeef het hem"

IF LIFE WAS FAIR FOR GUYS

1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the arse and a 'cheers for the sex - now f*** off' would pretty much do it.

2. Birth control would come in ale or lager.

3. Valentine's Day would be moved to 29th February so it would only occur in leap years.

4. On Mothers Day, you'd get the day off to go drinking.

5. The only show opposite 'Monday Night Football' would be 'Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.'

6. Instead of 'beer-belly,' you'd get 'beer-biceps.'

7. Tanks would be far easier to rent.

8. Every woman that worked would have to do so topless.

9. When the Police pull you over, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. Example -
Cop: 'You know how fast you were
going?'
You: 'All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place.'
Cop: Nice one, that's $20 off.'

10. Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.

11. Every man would get four, real 'Get Out of Jail Free' cards per year.

12. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

13. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen when the ball goes out of play.

14. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to 'I love you.'

15. The funniest guy in the office would get to be the CEO.

16. 'Sorry, but I got wasted last night,' would be an acceptable excuse for absence and/or poor time keeping.

17. Lifeguards could remove people from beaches for violating the public ugliness ordinance.

18. Hallmark would make 'Sorry, what was your name again?' cards.

19. Lager would have the same effect as Viagra.

20. 'Fancy a shag' would be the only chat up line in existence and it would work every time.

21. Everyone would drive at least 70mph and anyone driving under that would be fined.

22. Dinner break would happen every hour and the boss would hire in strippers and $2000 a night hookers for the duration of those breaks.

23. Saying 'Let's have a threesome. You, me and your sister' to your wife/girlfriend would get the response, 'What a great idea!'

24. Harrier jump jets would take you to and from work.

25. Everyone would have real a Light Sabre and any disagreements would be settled by a fight to the death.

26. Vomiting after 20 pints would actually make you more attractive to the opposite sex.

27. Along with your milk in the morning, the milkman would deliver two Swedish milk maids.

28. When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd get to slide down the back of a Brontosaurus just like Fred Flintstone

29. "Yes" would be an acceptable answer to a woman's question of "Does my bum look big in this?"

---

"Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what's right - Isaac Asimov"